Torrevieja Forum

The Jovial Side Of The Board......Light Hearted Fun

Moderator: Moderator

By gardner8
#1119707
A Little Church Humour !!
> >>
> >> They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church
> >> ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church
> >> bulletins or were announced at church services:
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled
> >> Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. 'The sermon tonight:
> >> 'Searching for Jesus.'
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
> >> things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
> >> pleasure to the congregation.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
> >> downstairs.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help
> >> they can get.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
> >> So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
> >> will follow.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
> >> Come early and listen to our choir practice.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
> >> new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
> >> you want remembered.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
> >> gracious hostility.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
> >> seen in the basement on Fridayafternoon.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
> >> the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend
> >> him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday .
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the
> >> back door.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
> >> basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
> >> tragedy.
> >> --------------------------
> >>
> >> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
> >> use large double door at the side entrance.
> >> --------------------------
> >> And this one just about sums them all up
> >>
> >> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
> >> Sunday:
> >> 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
> >>

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