I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.
So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.
We always look for cars with religious bumper stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's so important at our age!!