Torrevieja Forum

The Jovial Side Of The Board......Light Hearted Fun

Moderator: Moderator

By gardner8
#1056234
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able top come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 21, and her name's 'Kathy.'

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.


My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."


The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the dishes are piling up!"



I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening." Then the fight started.


My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Oxfam to get all of her clothes back.



The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.


I was approached by a lady who asked me to buy a raffle ticket for an African orphan. I said, "Hell no! With my luck I'd win one!"
Firestick BBC iplayer

My better half has just brought back a Amazon fir[…]

Missed call

That's not how officials work in Spain.

Bar Carlos

It was something like All that Jaz but can’[…]

Samsung 32 inch tv 99 euros

This item has now been sold. Thanks

Carols

Looking for a band to play carols.

outlook email problem

Found it! You must be referring to Ad Blocker in C[…]

It makes a change from the usual roundabout girls […]

Energy Cert for €120

Normal price

New Advertising Slots and Possibilities