The couple had been happily married for 50 years. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, How Much?
He reluctantly produced his wallet. I want summat simple" he explained,
My Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted owt swanky.
Perhaps a small poem, suggested the woman at the desk.
Nay, he said, she wunt ave wanted anything la-di-da. Just put; Gladys Braithwaites died.
You need to say when, he was told by the receptionist.
Do I? Well, put died 17th March 2015. Thatll do.
It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed.
The man considered for a moment. Well, put in, Sadly missed. Thatll do, he said.
You can have another four words, the woman explained.
No, no! he cried, she wouldnt ave wanted me to splash out.
The words are included in the price, the woman informed him.
Are they? You mean Ive paid for em?
Well, if Ive paid for em exclaimed the man, Im avin em.
The obituary was duly printed:
DIED 17TH MARCH 2015.
ALSO TRACTOR FOR SALE.